Archive for the 'Anger Issues' Category

Jun 27 2008


In a world so eager to assign blame (and thus, perhaps, justify the anger we feel about all manner of things), it’s refreshing to find reason to forgive — a healing antidote to the poisons of hatred, anger and fear. Today I was blessed to receive this story, and I want to share it with you — because it’s what forgiveness is all about. Continue Reading »

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May 23 2008

Out Beyond Right and Wrong — In The Light

In the past month the world has seen some dramatic and violent results of changes that the Earth needed to make, to stay in balance. Unthinkable numbers of humans were killed, enormous amounts of property was destroyed, and great suffering faces the affected areas.

I was thinking about how the Tibetans have been trying to bring attention to their situation (under Chinese domination and suppression of their basic human rights). And they have succeeded in letting the world in to hear their cause.

But because of the recent disasters nearby, the world’s attention has shifted — rightly so — to the massive disaster relief efforts. Do you know what all the Tibetan leaders are saying about this? They are advising all Tibetans — within China and around the world — to stop agitating for freedom, and to join the relief efforts. To offer their assistance and prayers to those who most need them.

After all, we are all human beings together. Suffering is still suffering. The Tibetan leaders are wisely pointing out a basic truth that the ways we are the same as humans is greater than the ways we are different.

And I was thinking about how, when we hold strong views about right or wrong, we can forget all the gray areas where it’s not so clear. What about when someone is starving, and steals a loaf of bread just to be able to stay alive? What about someone killing a person in true self-defense? What about euthanizing an elderly animal that is sick and in pain? What about those whose sincere religious or political beliefs are completely opposite to what we believe?

The common denominator for every single thing is still Love.

When you can feel compassion, you are in The Light. This is the place closest to God or Source that there will ever be. And it is the only place where we can always meet another living being. It is always the place where we can meet ourselves, in kindness and honest, fearless joy.

This is the place where I invite every single reader to discover. Find this place, and hold onto it for dear life.

It is treasure beyond compare. Let those of us who can do this, show others the way. The world needs this skill . We are the ones who carry the flame within us, who have the ability and the desire — to give it freely.

Go. Do that. Be that. Now.

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Apr 29 2008

Stupid People — Keep It In Perspective

Yes there are people out there in the world that act like they are stupid. Maybe some of them actually are.

So what?

Let’s face it, the world is not (yet) populated with Indigos and Lightworkers. We came here because there is work to do. The rest of the world is — or is not — ready to accept, help, understand, or agree with us. That’s just something it might be useful to be clear about.

This week I had my own chance to remember this. For about the bazillionth time. We are interviewing companies that install central air conditioning, so that our house can be more comfortable (and energy efficient) during the summer months. It is part of a general “green” campaign we’re doing, to make things better on a personal level, to leave less of an imprint on the environment. So we’ve seen several versions of “sales pitches” for central air equipment and installation.

But last night? Wish we’d had a video of this one! This guy had quite an attitude, and didn’t appreciate our approach to how we intended to handle the transactions. His idea was that he should overpower us with information and force us to sign a contract before he left. Needless to say, this didn’t go over well with us. And that, my friends, is perhaps the understatement of the year!

You know how much Indigos hate being pressured? How we hate being “told” or “sold”? How we hate someone who is not coming from the heart? Someone who does not listen or respect? Well, for whatever reasons this guy had it all and then some! It was so startling to experience it was hard not to burst out laughing at him, for how disconnected he was. But honestly? It was kinda hard to feel sorry for him, too. The phrase that comes to mind here is “pompous a**.” (actual word modified for general audiences here. . . )

It’s too bad, too, because the company he was supposed to represent was actually our top pick (until we met Mr. Pompous.) He might ultimately have made the sale, if he had been willing to listen and just be human instead of putting on airs and trying to force his way into a sale. That’s really stupid in my book!

But see, the world has lots of people who just don’t get it yet. I can feel sorry for everything that they are missing — but I still don’t want them in my space for more than 5 seconds. Thank goodness I have some Invocation Liquid Smudge here — we cleared the whole house after he left. (It needed it. The energy was just awful.) If I’d known first how yucky he was, the guy would never have set foot in the house. (We should have known when he didn’t like our dog. . . that might have been the first clue!) We were caught off guard by his charming smile — but underneath the smile was a lot of darkness. By the time we caught a whiff of his real energy, he was already into his pitch.

What to do about “all those stupid people”?

Best thing I have ever found to do = “leave them alone.” “Let them be.”

Works for me.

How about you?

We showed him where the door was and said goodbye (and good riddance!)

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Apr 22 2008

Managing Anger and Rage

Keeping kids safe these days is at the top of many parents’ worry lists. There are many things to be worried ABOUT these days — but for parents of Indigos, one of them is the anger factor.

We Indigos come hard-wired to react with anger at any and all of the following things:

  • injustice
  • “stupid” people (people who are not behaving as if the God in all things matter)
  • lies
  • anything not coming from Love/motivated by greed, self-centered personal gain, or with intent to harm
  • systems and institutions that do not serve (when they are “supposed” to)
  • helpers who harm (either intentionally or through carelessness)
  • and a whole string of related items (name your favorites here)

The fact of the matter is, for us Indigos managing our own anger at being on a planet that is not what we KNOW it can and should be (umm, “not living up to its potential”???) — gets the benefit of our attention (usually angry.)

Now, an evolved Indigo knows and understands how to USE anger as a tool — and not to be a victim of it. We can understand that it is just a feeling, and that we can use the energy of it to accomplish something good. It can help us to direct our considerable creative powers to take effective and hopefully compassionate action, that will catalyze the necessary changes. It requires us to:

  • be clear about what the ideal might be (we usually are crystal clear about this)
  • communicate it clearly to others — in a form that they can hear. This is challenging — and can be a skill we Indigos would be well served to master, if we haven’t already. We must be able to get the information into a form that the people and institutions we target for change can DO something with, not just react against. People in general don’t like change (unlike many Indigos who thrive on it.) That one is a hard lesson to learn!
  • Control our own emotions and not be in reactive mode. To take the time to process our feelings and think through what a positive action might be for us to take.

Just this week I had one of those “opportunities” to exercise that muscle. I came up once again against the institution of health insurance — which as most everyone knows is a dying, extremely dysfunctional structure. Maybe the stars were aligned badly or something, but I spent at least an hour in one of the deepest rages I have felt for some time. For almost all of the reasons identified above, actually.

The bad news is — no, we don’t ever entirely overcome our hard-wiring. The impulses are always there, just waiting to be triggered. Sorry.

The good news is that we CAN learn what to do with ourselves when this happens. We do NOT need to create an “incident” that escalates the problem. We CAN manage our own emotions and master them. Between the many phone calls that were required, I spent some time meditating, taking flower essences, and calming my spirit. I called a friend to vent and say what’s going on. I listened to their wise advice. And before I picked up the phone for the next call, I blessed the outcome for the greater good. I need to tell you, it took ALL of the steps I’m mentioning here, to help me through this one.

I don’t feel good about myself when I respond with so much anger inside. I know that this is not helpful, if I were to express the powerful intensity I feel. But I also know that I have it for a reason. I need to DO something useful with it. I need to channel it into a powerful action. And this, I will do. In my own time and in my own way. I will exercise self discipline, which I have learned painfully over many years, and then act. I feel more self-esteem when I know that I can master the powerful feelings, rather than allow them to dictate what and how I will respond.

Being response-able is a very important thing. We who parent and teach must start early with the young Indigos, because it is not something we are born with — we need to develop the Mastery Muscle of self discipline. Failure to do this results in suicides and some of the tragic mass murders that we have seen. We can prevent these. And we must!

What mosts helps an Indigo when we are triggered is

  • someone to listen to us, to really hear us and hear our pain
  • someone to help or coach us through to our own self mastery of the feelings, rather than tell us what we should be doing or how to behave
  • flower essences, to put our sensitive electrical circuits back in proper shape
  • time to get calm and to gain perspective on the situation.

Help your kids and teens — and help yourself, if you are the Indigo — by taking these steps. It makes a world of difference. Coach them through the mastery process — and master self discipline yourself.

For those who are interested, I am working right now on a series of new flower essence formulas, one of which will help Indigos (and everyone, actually) with the issues of self-mastery of anger. The other essences in the series will help with the fluctuations in our energy fields, help us not to take on energies from outside ourselves (whether that is from other people or the environment or from electrical and electronic devices.)

For more information about the flower essences, I hope you will join my other blog, Dances With Flowers. I will be posting the news there (and will try to update here also — but you will get it over there first.)

Meanwhile, if you are a parent of Indigo kids or teens, or an Indigo yourself, there is hope for the anger! You can help your kids by modeling healthy expressions of anger (hint: this does NOT mean to keep it bottled in!), to learn how to work with and manage your own emotions, and to learn what their purpose is in your life.

Don’t be afraid of the anger — be afraid of what you will mindlessly do with it, until you know how to work with it and have it serve you. You can do this! I promise!

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Oct 16 2006

School Shootings

I read recently that there have been 27 incidents of school shootings in the USA since January 2006.

That is 27 too many.

And just last week, outside our own High School, the police arrested a man who had been following and sexually harrassing several high school girls in a local mall; inside his van were enough weapons (as the police reported) to “start his own war.”

And we’ve had way too many teen suicides this year, guys. . .

It’s time to change the paradigm of violence. Anger spinning out of control. Acting out dark feelings that may have been under the surface for years and never dealt with.

The rising energy fields of our time, combined with certain astrological configurations, make for dark secrets to be revealed now — one way or the other. Those who do not know how to handle this, are in big trouble.

Those are the signs of people who do not stay connected with Source (or perhaps do not know how) — and people who do not know how to forgive themselves, let alone anyone else.

There IS healing to be done — and it will offer relief for the pain. Those who leave by violence will only have to return and face it in another time, in another way. That is the Law of the Universe.

We who do know these things, MUST show the way for others. How?

Model the behaviors of a loving and grounded being.

Deal with your own shadows and allow them too to find peace and grace, to transform. You DO know how to do this!

Even when it’s hard for you, too, still inside you, do DO know what to do. The Truth of your connection to Source can never be taken from you.

To help anyone who is struggling with any form of darkness, whether of current events or the past, I offer above a new tool I discovered. I am liking it very much. It’s one of Eckhard Tolle’s new books, A New Earth. There’s a brief review above — please buy, borrow, and READ this book!

Another thing you can do is to get involved — and help promote — a new Department of Peace and Non-Violence (yes, it’s been renamed, to better reflect the demands of our chaotic times and to show how peace and non-violence cannot be separated) with a cabinet-level position to help us learn a new way of being in the world. It’s way past time — and not at all too late.

Here’s where to learn more — and get involved: The Peace Alliance

And please let us hold all of humankind — all sentient beings — including yourself — in your heart with very great and tender love. That is a blessing we are all called to offer — one we can do gladly.

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